Ever wind up waiting in line (for a lengthy amount of time) and had someone behind you that wouldn’t shut up? It’s not so bad…usually people are easy to tune out. Unless they’re doing nothing but whining. Loudly. Whine, whine, whine. And the whole time it dealt with one particular subject…her diet. If she would have switched to some other topics now-and-again, the variety would have made it easier to deal with, but nooo, it had to be all about dieting.

“I had the doctor check for one of those metabolism problems, but he said I was fine. How can I be fine when I’ve been gaining all this weight ever since I started my new job after college? I’m gonna get a second opinion.”

“He said I should get some exercise. Exercise? I wouldn’t need any exercise if he was competent enough to fix my metabolism problem.”

“Yeah, I tried that whole low-carb diet for a while, but grocery shopping’s always so inconvenient. I just eat out all the time, and it’s tough to keep to that diet because restaurants don’t have that many low-carb options on their menus.”

“And those jerks at the counter are always pushing fries in my face. How am I supposed to stay away from them when I hear, ‘Would you like fries with that?’ two or three times a day?”

And on and on and on. Sure, we’re in a Subway, and that’s a common topic in this joint…but constantly whining and bitching about some big conspiracy out to make you fat? And the real reason for the weight gain has to be everyone else’s fault but your own? It grates on my nerves…but what’s a guy to do? I could take the path of goodness and light and offer some good tips and advice on healthy eating and sticking with a diet. Or I could succumb to the really bad week I’ve been having and stride down the path of darkness…

…like getting up to the counter and ordering the most outrageous sandwich I could think of just to get on her nerves. Italian BMT…no, wait…meatball. Better yet…both. Salami, pepperoni, ham, and meatballs…and double cheese…and bacon. With non-light, non-fat free, non-carb friendly ranch dressing. An no veggies.

I could have done that…but I didn’t. I ordered my ham & turkey (on a low-carb wrap) with plenty of veggies and oil & vinegar. I was tempted…but I kept to neutral ground. The path of darkness wasn’t quite alluring enough. This time.

And as far as the girl whining about her diet…she got a meatball sub.

Footlong.

Double cheese.

And a bag of chips.