“Psst.

“Yeah, you.

“Come a little closer.

“You want some sun? High quality. No waiting. Get your fix right here.”

Look at those scientists in action. Wow, who could have guessed that exposure to sunlight could cause endorphin release. And that does what now? Oh yeah, it makes you feel good and even provides pain relief. Hmmm… no wonder it takes so long for people to figure out they’ve been fried to a crisp under the sun’s rays. That sun, he’s a tricky one–deluding everyone into thinking he’s good while he’s really out there building up his vast following of sun junkies.

So now, they’ve show the sun’s all addictive and causes cancer. It’s like smoking without the bad breath, work authorized breaks, and tobacco companies to blame.

It’s a crazy, mixed up world out there. Next thing ya know, they’ll tell me spiders like to cuddle.